You can press pause on the music player at the very bottom to hear the videos posted.

You can press pause on the music player at the very bottom to hear the videos posted.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

I hate football

Okay, I know this is our "Family blog" but, let's face it, the husband never looks at this thing nor contributes to it, so I figure I can vent a little steam now that we're in full blown playoff season. Can I get an "amen"?!

I secretly hate football.

It's probably not a huge secret. I think he knows I dislike it, but I don't think he knows just how deep this has gone now. Let me tell you just a few reasons why and if any of you other fellow "widows" understand, give a little shout out in the comments section.

1. It's the only place 15 seconds can last another 10 minutes. And I'm not even talking about OT!
2. It's on Friday-Monday on at least one channel, but usually at least half a dozen. (yes, I'm counting high school, too, because he'd watch that as well if he thought I wouldn't divorce him.
3. There's no new plot. It's the same crap every game.
4. The only game he's ever taken me to was the 2nd coldest game in Chiefs history -30 windchill and he was pissed because I didn't want to sit outside to eat tailgate food when it was a heat wave at whopping -10 inside the car. (this one pretty much sealed the fate of this post's title)
5. He has favorite teams ranked higher than I care to count. (9th favorite, 15th favorite, etc)
6. His mood will revolve around which teams lost/won that day, this is how I know and believe what I've heard about there being more abused wives in this country on Monday nights.
7. I conceded a few tasteful fan-artifacts for our newly finished (and beautiful, if I could be allowed to so boldly add) basement. I was trying to be nice with these concessions. Gradually, though, it's beginning to look more like a Dolphins bar, not a family room, and it's about to put me over.
8. I enjoyed football in high school and college. I really did. I think because it seemed to have a season (ie: AN END). I guess that's because I didn't live with someone who followed it YEAR ROUND.
9. Superbowl is the best game of the season. But for only one reason. It's the LAST.
**music screeching to a halt** But it's not the last, that's how they fool you, see, there's always the frickin' probowl crap and then, what, like two weeks later it's the draft and then some stupid reality show that watches them at summer camp and then bam! preseason is on again. I'm so stickin' over it, it's ridiculous.

(that's me, 2nd from the left, the one that looks the warmest, or the least happy to be there, however you want to interpret that) I had on an Air Force Arctic weather parka under that Starter jacket, AND 3 sets of USAF long johns. I WAS STILL FROZEN! Don't tell them I fell asleep during part of it, it was mostly because the fog from my breath had frozen on my sunglasses and I couldn't see the game anymore. (Their beers were freezing by the way and they could hardly drink the slush.) just look at him.... good times he says. riiiight, uh-huh, sure.


Heather said...

hilarious. the blog gets 2 hits in the first minute with a title like this! gotta love 'em.

Tammie said...

ha ha...heather i love it! and totally agree with you.

*i hate it when a game goes into overtime right when a show i watch is about to come on

*every year at the start of football season my husband sings a song called "its beginning to look a lot like football." this is sung to the tune of "it's beginning to look a lot like christmas."

*my husband plans his wardrobe around games. for instance, if his favorite team is playing a team with red in their uniforms, he can't wear red that day. sometimes he changes clothes mid game. and he has lucky socks.

im pretty much single during football season

Heather said...

tammie- yep, I know, I can't count how many times my dvr has screwed up a show because some stupid Sunday game ran late (and not even OT). Is he a huge Dolphins fan, since you live in Florida? That is my husband's favorite team. I'm still not really sure why. He's only visited Florida one time for 3 days and it wasn't even Miami.

Tammie said...

my least favorite sentence is "we will now join your regularly scheduled program, already in progress." NO!

surprisingly not a big miami fan...although that doesnt keep him from watching the games. he'll watch to root against teams as well.
im sure he at one time told me why he isnt a miami fan. im also pretty sure i wasnt listening.
the jacksonville jaguars used to be his favorite team but they lose A LOT and i think hes bored with them now. i think he told me his new team is the pittsburg somebodies. i dont know why, since hes never been to pittsburg.

i give up.

cindydyer said...

Wow...someone who hates football ALMOST as much as me. I'm sometimes so surprised at my disinterest---it's THAT intense. No desire, don't care who's playing, don't care who's winning. Now, having written that, it was pretty cool to be able to go to Redskins Camp this fall and photograph a football player for my magazine job.

Also, thanks for thinking of me for the tag game---I've never played it until now and have already tagged six people on my blogroll.

See my posting here:

♥ joleen said...

LOL ahahaha that's so funny. I can imagine.. thank GOD I don't have a huge sports fan (shh.. don't tell his family. ;)) but I do lose him to video games. ;)

PS- thanks for your comments and support. :)

Heather said...

Cindy- glad to know I'm in good company, and photographing football players is not even in the same league as watching a game- yummy!

Joleen- the plus side of your situations is that at least video games can be played around regular viewing and the season finale of Survivor isn't getting cut off your DVR because some stupid idiot coach has to question a call when he's down 20 points with 3 minutes to play and dragging the painful 3 hour game out another 20 minutes... exruciating!

Lara said...

Hey, I loved this post. I had a similar one a year ago (November I think)but I tried to be all thankful for it. Ha, maybe I was faking it. And, I finally did the tag thing. YaY